Orioles Opening Day Drinking Game


By Steph Em - Posted on 05 April 2012

Orioles beer

 

It's finally here! And it's going to be nice out! So let's celebrate one of the most wonderful days of the year with a drinking game based on the awesome people watching that comes with Opening Day in our beloved Baltimore. Be it the madness of Pickles or inside the stadium OD always brings out the true fans and the wannabes providing such an eclectic mix of ridiculousness that you can almost forget there's a ball game happening. Almost.

Do not drink and drive. The po-po will get you.  But if you’re not DD here’s some ideas:


Drink 1 if you see:

  • Stupid girls in Pink, be it anything from the Victoria's Secret line or gear in the color. Bonus sip if she's wearing a hat but has completely done her hair around it. You know the look.
  • Anyone drinking who is no way 21. Man you're getting old, are kids who look that young really allowed to drink? Damn.
  • And on the flip side anyone drinking who is over 80. Awesome!
  • This is Baltimore so if you see someone missing more than a handful of teeth, take a sip for every tooth missing.
  • People in non-Baseball or another sport’s gear, street clothes, or are “just here to drink”. Get out of the way and let the professionals handle this, thanks.

Drink 2 if you see:

  • Oh you know the guy "I just came from the office but really wanted to be here but couldn't be bothered to bring a change of clothes so here I am in my suit I'm so important." Douche.
  • An infant in O's gear. Don't touch the baby, you're drunk and you'll scare the mom. But this is way too adorable to pass up so take 2.
  • If a homeless person asks you if you need tickets. Huh? Where did you get them?
  • An Asian person. Any country in Asia will do. A rarity at baseball games for some reason. Hey, we're trying but South Korea hates us.
  • Live vomiting. Get out of the way first, natch, but this is inevitable and sadly, hilarious.
  • Anyone wearing those sad face O's hats. They're depressing. Stay positive Orioles fans or I will occupy your mom.

Chug if you see:

  • Nudity, other than shirtless guys. Be sure take a pic and send to us, thanks.
  • Any person affiliated with the IHJJR site, and bring one for us. If you see a tipsy tall chick in a Powers 55 O's jersey make it a Guinness, please :)

Punch a face* if you see:

  • Yankee and Red Sox fans. Get out this is the ORIOLES day, chumps.
  • Hipsters. Really? If there are any skinny jeans and white sunglasses on men start swinging. Go ahead, pal, drink your tallboy PBR and name one Oriole other than Cal. I'm waiting. Nice vintage T, btdubs.
  • Anyone who says "Well you know, Natty Boh isn't really made in Baltimore" yes. We know. Eat it.

 

*Do not punch anyone. Give dirty, snarky passive aggressive looks.

 

Let's go O's, and I hope to see you at the yard! Cheers.

Photo Courtesy of BeerInBaltimore.com

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