Tweets of the Week...and a half (4/18/2012)
My apologies everyone for being tardy with the latest edition of Tweets of the Week, so to make it up to you I've thrown in more to make it an ultra-huge batch. Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but you may recall that I predicted here on this site that Bobby Petrino would not be able to keep his job in the wake of his affair with Jessica Dorrell being revealed. Petrino was ultimately fired on April 10 with cause, meaning he won't receive a penny of his $18 million buyout. Hope she was worth it coach.
And then of course, thanks to the Freedom of Information Act, the media released the phone records between Petrino and Dorrell, which amounted to a staggering amount of calls, texts, a multimedia messages. As many have suggested, they make burn phones for a reason...just sayin'.
For some reason unknown to everyone, including himself, Redskins WR Jabar Gaffney decided to take his tweets to an absolutely nuclear level. Truly, it was a meltdown of epic proportions. Then, he used the patented "my account was hacked" defense, before deactivating his account. Well done sir, that was an event worthy of the IHJJR Tweets of the Week Hall of Fame. Even though his account is deactivated, every single one of Gaffney's tweets can be found on Google, in all their glory.
Moving on to the non-sports world, North Korea attempted to fire a rocket into space last week, which failed miserably, and lead to some spectacular comedy on Twitter. As you'll see below, the tweet from @KimJongNumberUn was particularly outstanding.
Also, if you were living underground, you may have missed the absurd Coachella performance by a hologram of Tupac, which caused parodies and memes to explode on Twitter like absolute wild fires. I have no idea how they managed to create that hologram, but that was some straight up R2-D2 stuff. Never seen anything like it.
Irreconcilable differences? RT @schadjoe: Bobby Petrino is out at Arkansas.— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) April 10, 2012
Bobby Petrino wreck footagecdn1.sbnation.com/imported_asset…— Football Rumor Mill (@fbrumormill) April 11, 2012
ANOTHER: rubber. ANOTHER: the blackboard. ANOTHER: ANOTHER: ANOTHER: ANOTHER: ANOTHER: Use a plastic handle. Make it to fit the hand.— Horse ebooks (@Horse_ebooks) April 11, 2012
I think we should accept that Petrino is an amateur photographer who just sent Dorrell pictures of sunsets. Yep. That's it.— Andy Hutchins (@AndyHutchins) April 11, 2012
Click on "Followers" RT @JoseCanseco Where the haters?— Peyton's Head (@PeytonsHead) April 11, 2012
Seriously, how do I go about adopting this patch of highway that took down Bobby Petrino?— Matt (@mFalcons5) April 10, 2012
You know your baseball team sucks when you're relieved they have a day off.— Bill Simmons (@sportsguy33) April 12, 2012
A WILD HOUSTON ASTRO APPEARED!!DAVID ROSS uses Cannon Arm!It's super effective! HOUSTON ASTRO has fainted!#Barves— Pogue Mahone (@JdotLeazy) April 12, 2012
Bobby Petrino and Jessica Dorrell texted each other more than 70, 80 and 90 times a day?! At least mix in a burner, Pops.— Jim Rome (@jimrome) April 12, 2012
Tip-off...what's a bigger number: Bobcats attendance or Bobby Petrino texts to his girlfriend(s)? twitter.com/MarkPacker/sta…— Mark Packer (@MarkPacker) April 12, 2012
North Korea: just stick to mandatory, over-the-top funeral wailing— Soaring to Glory (@SoaringtoGlory) April 12, 2012
Kim Kardashian's marriage.#ThingsThatLastedLongerThanNorthKoreasMissile— Faux John Madden (@FauxJohnMadden) April 12, 2012
Because changing your password is so hard. “@JabarGaffney: I am deactivating my Twitter cuz someone hacked into my account.”— Evan Mathis (@EvanMathis69) April 14, 2012
I'm guessing Kim Jong Un is also terrible at Angry Birds.— pwnteam (@pwnteam) April 13, 2012
Still confused about what went wrong.Thought Diet Coke and Mentos was foolproof.— KimJongNumberUn (@KimJongNumberUn) April 13, 2012
Here's more video proving Rob Gronkowski's insanity. "I'd eff Tebow to take his virginity." Oh, Gronk. youtu.be/BYpqqPxy1Ws— Derek Medlin (@DerekMedlin) April 13, 2012
100 years ago today, Kate Winslet was too selfish to share her floating door with Leonardo DiCaprio.— Pierzy (@Pierzy) April 15, 2012
History Fact: The real tragedy of The Titanic occurred 85 years later, when Celine Dion started singing about it.— Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzReport) April 15, 2012
BS: "Delonte West is killing the Lakers!!!" --Things I never expected to hear today.— Grantland Live (@GrantlandLive) April 15, 2012
New Post - Ian Eagle calls out broadcast partner Mike Fratello on the air, makes everyone else extremely uncomfortable bit.ly/INz1zz— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) April 15, 2012
You know, if Marc-Andre Fleury is a hologram, it would answer a LOT of questions.— Bruce Arthur (@bruce_arthur) April 16, 2012
Would love to host SNL and would donate pay to greenpeace .Does anyone know how to contact Lorne Greene ?Please help me make it happen! Hugs— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 15, 2012