Year End K-Dash Fantasy Awards
Technically 2010 isn't over yet, unless you live in Dubai it just ended, but your fantasy football season should be over. Well shit, never mind, my lazy ass didn't finish this till 2011. One item I forgot to include in my preseason fantasy league preview, is that all leagues should have the championship game in week 16. You don't want to dominate with Michael Vick all year and then have him sit out week 17 since the Eagles have clinched the 3 seed and will treat it like a preseason game.
For the year end edition, we'll include each player's average draft position (ADP) in a 12 team league provided by @bookend57 and courtesy of fantasyfootballcalculator.com. The higher the ADP, the more production you would expect from a player. As we will see with the Kourtney and Khloe award winners, that isn't always the case. Onto the awards. Again due to my laziness, all stats are of the end of week 16 when your fantasy playoffs should have ended.
KIM KARDASHIAN BEST PLAYERS OF THE YEAR AWARD
WR Winner – “Rowdy” Roddy White (ATL) ADP: 16.6 3 straight 83+ catch and 1150+ receiving yard seasons prior to this season is pretty good, but White didn't get as much hype as many other WR divas. This year Rowdy Roddy had 109 catches for 1327 yards and 9 TD’s. I'm pretty sure next year White and the two Johnson Transformers: Optimus Prime (Andre) and Megatron (Calvin) will be battling to be the first WR taken in the draft. In the picture on the left, you can see Roddy got a little rowdy in his message to the NFL and the Virginia Correctional Department to "Free Mike Vick" back in December 2007.
Runner up – Calvin MEGATRON Johnson (DET/DECEPTICONS) ADP: 12.6
RB Winner – Arian Foster (HOU) ADP: 36.3 Does this stat line sound familiar Houston? Year one: 1282 yards 9 TD's Year two: 437 yards and 3 TD's Year three: 93 yards and ZERO TD's? It should, it's the rookie sensation Steve Slaton. I only bring it up so you Houston fans don't start sucking each other's dicks quite yet. Foster put up huge numbers thanks in part to the injury to rookie Ben Tate, and the corpse that used to be fantasy starter Slaton. I can still remember laughing at Arian's first name when he was in college at Tennessee, but now the joke is on me. Foster had 295 carries for 1434 yards for 4.9 yards per carry with 14 TD’s and 64 catches for 594 yards and 2 TD’s. Gotta consider Foster to be a top 5 if not top 3 overall pick for next season, but you are taking a considerable risk he doesn't get Slaton'd!
Runner up – Adrian Peterson (MIN) ADP: 2.1
QB Winner – Tom Brady (NE) ADP: 25.2 Even though the Patriots lost two games this year, it really doesn't seem like it because it was so long ago. Mr. Bundchen lost what used to be an elite WR in Randy Moss, much more on Moss later, and still put up easily the second best numbers of his career. He had 314 completions in 476 attempts for a 65.9% with 3701 yards, 34 TD’s, 4 INT’s, and a QB rating of 109.8. Also a very consistent 30 carries for 31 yards and a touchdown rushing. Might have to give Brady a new nickname of Drago from Rocky IV because he was as emotionless as a machine even back in high school. Check out this recruiting video by Brady's coach, I don't think Tom even blinked once in it!
Runner up – Aaron Rodgers (GB) ADP: 6.8
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN SURPRISE PLAYERS OF THE YEAR AWARD
WR Winner – Dwayne Bowe (KC) ADP: 47.4 Out of all the winners and runners up in the surprise performance category, Mr. Bowe had the highest ADP of 47.4. So in a 12 team league, Bowe was usually taken right near the end of the 4th round. Definitely a steal at that position for a player who put up 67 catches for 1094 yards and 15 TD’s. There could have easily been 3 Chiefs among the award winners but Jamaal Charles just missed out on making the cut, mostly in part to Thomas Jones vulturing away touchdowns. Bowe actually had more catches in his 2nd season (86) but for seventy less yards and 8 fewer TD's than 2010. As in an earlier K-Dash awards, I compared Bowe's season to Braylon Edwards crazy 16 TD's in 2007. Edwards has only had 13 TD's in the 3 years since, but I think Bowe will be able to put up at least 9 or 10 TD's again next season.
Runner up – Brandon Lloyd (DEN) ADP: Outside top 75 WR's drafted.
RB Winner – Peyton Hillis (CLE) ADP: 160.9 Kind of ironic that both the winner and runner up for this award played on the same college team. Also, in a previous K-Dash Awards I noted that Peyton Hillis needed a nickname. I went online to see one of the Browns' fansites had a poll and the winner was the Albino Rhino. One of the other nominees, which I would have gone with, is the White Bronco. And it is ridiculous that I can't find a clip on YouTube of Al Cowlings yelling, "This is AC, you know who the hell I am!" Another rookie injury gave Hillis the majority of the carries for the Browns, and he ended with 264 carries for 1164 yards with 11 TD’s, 60 catches for 474 yards with 2 TD’s. The Albino Rhino had 5 fumbles too; however, he made up for it by completing one pass for 13 yards. Hillis slowed down as the season progressed, but still produced a top 5 fantasy season.
Runner up – Darren McFadden (OAK) ADP: 108.9
QB Winner – Michael Vick (PHI) ADP: OVER 163.3 Vick probably went undrafted in most leagues this year, and if you were able to pick him up after week 1 it was like having a 1st round pick for free. One of the biggest unspoken rules is that you never lose your position due to injury, so apologies to Kevin Kolb because Mike Vick was too good to put back on the bench. Even missing 3 1/2 games, Vick had 233 completions in 372 attempts for a 62.6% with 3018 yards, 21 TD’s, 6 INT’s, and a QB rating of 100.2. Also a ridiculous 100 carries for 676 yards and 9 TD’s rushing. Vick's comeback was so crazy, even Pat Robertson from the ultra conservative 700 Club TV show was drinking up Vick's Purple Drank!
Runner up – Matt Cassel (KC) ADP: 147.6
KHLOE KARDASHIAN DISAPPOINTING PLAYERS OF THE YEAR AWARD
WR Winner – Randy Moss (NE/MIN/TEN) ADP: 8 FUCKING POINT 8 Pretty much the complete opposite of Vick, Randy Moss was one of the biggest wastes of a first round pick in fantasy history. Playing on 3 teams in one season is one of the most ludicrous things I've ever heard for a starter, not to mention a Pro Bowler and 1st round fantasy pick. The final pathetic numbers for Moss are 27 catches for 375 yards and 5 TD’s. He was held to one or zero receptions in NINE WEEKS, including week 17. If you did draft Moss and still end up winning your fantasy league, such as I did in winning the inaugural IHJJR league, consider yourself a big time champion. Even bigger than Ron Artest and his spectacularily bad song "Champion."
Runner up – Steve Smith (CAR) ADP: 36.6
RB Co-Winners – Ryan Mathews (SD) ADP: 14.8 and Shonn Greene (NYJ) ADP: 25 These two bums most likely cost you a 2nd or 3rd round pick, and a starting running back position most of the season. Both were connected with one time guaranteed number one overall fantasy pick Ladainian Tomlinson as well. I thought both players were being rated and drafted way too high. I ended up taking Shonn Greene in one league in the 4th round, but was only one pick away from having Jamaal Charles. Last year Greene had a great playoff run and was thought to be the number one back for the Jets, but for some reason it never happened thanks to LT. He had 185 carries for 766 yards with 2 TD’s (one in week 16) and 16 catches for 120 yards. When LT left San Diego, the Chargers traded up in the first round to take Ryan Mathews from Fresno St. to fill his shoes. Mathews missed 4 games due to injury, but didn't have a single game over 100 yards all season. He had 132 carries for 558 yards with 4 TD's, and 19 catches for 126 with no touchdowns and 3 fumbles lost. After Note: I guess Mathews knew I was giving him this award because he went nuts against the Broncos in week 17 and dropped 126 yards and 3 TD's. Just like Brenda Walsh told Brodie in Mallrats, it was too little too late.
QB Winner – Brett Favre (GB) ADP: 82.6 And speaking of too little too late, we have everyone's favorite dong-slinger. I think Ben Stiller in "There's Something About Mary" says it best, "What about Brett Favra?" There was a 99.9% chance that there was at least one Favre related story on every Sportscenter broadcast from last year's NFC Championship Game until the end of this season. I know you are as sick of him as I am, and as Jenn Sterger is I'm sure, so here are his stats: 217 completions in 358 attempts for 60.6% and 2509 yards with 11 TD’s and 19 INT’s and 3 fumbles lost. All in all, I hope you found success in the fantasy world and were able to enjoy a laugh or two each week during the K-Dash awards.
Runner up – Donovan McNabb (WAS) ADP: 110